Zombies are one pest you want to keep away from your house. Zombies are not like roaches or rats; you can poison a rat and then he’s dead, you can also poison or bomb roaches; but you can’t do any of that stuff with a zombie. I’m sure that if you tried putting brains outside your house and placed poison in it that the zombies would survive and then come in your house for desert; luckily I’m here to give you advice and a few simple steps to surviving zombies around your neighborhood.
Stay Aware And Be Prepared
YIKES!!! The zombies are here!
First thing is first; you can’t be fighting off and surviving zombies if you’re not watching all around you. You MUST know where your at, what your doing and how your gonna do it at all times because one mistake and your going to end up on next weeks cover of Zombie Nation Magazine and your not going to be looking so pretty for the camera. So here are a few things we advise you to take with you everywhere you go no matter what, so that you don’t fall asleep and let the bed bugs bite and boy will these bed bugs bite:
• Any Form of Caffeine.
• Someone who is perhaps alive and willing to watch your back. (If NO one is alive then find a dog or something that can alert you of any intruders)
• Any kind of energy drinks. (Believe me you won’t be crashing when you got zombies on your tail)
• What ever it takes to KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
Holding Up Is Enough
One thing you got to learn quick about surviving zombies is that if you’re alive then you’re doing great cause your not on a dinner plate. Remember when your trapped somewhere with zombies all around you and you got the whole place boarded up and think your doomed then think again because if your alive then theirs always a way to survive. Here are a couple of steps on what to do in case you’re trapped:
• First thing you need to do is walk up to your friend that is trapped with you and cry to him or her like a baby because its not for sure that you’ll survive; then recompose yourself and grab anything that can used as a weapon. (Remember, you’ll want to keep your distance if attacking them so find something with reach)
• Next is to make sure everything is Safe and boarded up preventing anything or anybody from getting in and make sure to double check often; this is no time to get lazy and forget to follow up.
• Boards won’t hold back zombies forever so the next thing to do is think fast, you’ll want to find out where your going to escape to when they break through.(always go for the area with less zombies around, look for the fatter zombies they get tired of chasing easiest) if they are closing in fast on you and your friend and you know your doomed and need a distraction then as your running for the escape area trip your friend and the zombies will go for him/her giving you time to escape and escape being the snack. I know what you thinking, yes a little cruel and horrible; but this is a zombie survival guide for living; this isn’t a “I could go on and survive but I think I will stay here and die with my friend guide.”
Yes, I know times are hard fending off zombies everyday, but life is hard and hard to keep; so if you love life and want to keep on living then follow this survival guide towards a brand new zombie free world. Remember, if they’re beating on your door and walls and there is lots of screaming; then it could be one of two things; could be zombies and it could just be Girl Scouts selling cookies.